“Dear Counselor” with CentrePointe Counseling, Inc. – “What should I do if I suspect a child is being sexually abused?”

Dear Counselor:

I am a Sunday School teacher in a local church working with younger elementary school aged children. One of the first grade girls has recently been using inappropriate sexual language and exhibiting lots of anger in the class. My intuition tells me that something is not right. What would you suggest that I do? – Sunday School Teacher

Dear Sunday School Teacher:

You are wise to listen to your intuition. Your observations suggest the possibility of sexual abuse in the life of this child. Sexual behavior and language that are not age-appropriate can be a sign of sexual abuse. Emotional behavior from being “too perfect” to withdrawal and depression to unexplained anger and rebellion can be a sign. Physical signs include redness, rashes or swelling of the genital area, urinary tract infections, chronic stomach pain or headaches, bedwetting or soiling pants. Sometimes there are no signs at all.

It is true that you want to be able to listen to the child. Sometimes a child is more open to talk to a trusted adult other than a parent. Remember that children may tell “parts” of what happened or pretend it happened to someone else. It is important not to ask a lot of questions or try to get too much detail. This is better left to professionals.

Another important response is the reporting of any suspected child abuse. Child abuse may be sexual abuse, physical abuse, or neglect. Reporting is not to be only when there is incontrovertible evidence, but of the suspicion of child abuse. For Sunday School teachers, like for school teachers and mental health professionals, this reporting within 48 hours is mandated by the law. Unlike pastors who may in some cases have “privileged communication” in private confessional situations and not have to report, Sunday School teachers are required to report. And, once you tell the pastor, the pastor is required to report. The reporting can be made to the local State’s Attorney’s office, Department of Social Services, or the police. A report would include the name and address of the child and the parent or caretaker, the child’s age, the child’s present location, the names of any other children in the home and what happened.

While reporting is a legal issue, there are also ethical and spiritual issues involved. Churches that are complicit with abuse by their silence actually allow the abuser to abuse other children, and often damage a child’s relationship with God for the rest of their lives.

Questions may be e-mailed to trodgerson@bcmd.org with the subject line indicating, “Dear Counselor;” or mailed to Dr. Tom Rodgerson, 8203 Harford Road, Parkville, MD 21234. (800) 491-5369           

CentrePointe has offices in the following locations: Cambridge, Catonsville, Columbia, Crofton, Dunkirk, Frederick, Glen Burnie, Hughesville, Lanham, Laurel, Lutherville, Mechanicsville, Middle River, Odenton, Parkville, Rockville, Severn, Silver Spring, Waldorf and Westminster.